Turkey Sandwich:
Toast bread slices if you're not emotionally fragile today.
Mix Dijon mustard and mayo in a bowl.
Spread the mixture on each slice of bread like you're doing something impressive.
Layer lettuce, turkey, tomato, and cucumber.
Add black pepper. Top with other slice. Slice diagonally for a false sense of gourmet.
Optional: Press sandwich for extra smugness.
Espresso Truffles:
In a small saucepan, heat cream and butter until hot—not boiling.
Remove from heat. Stir in espresso powder.
Add chocolate. Stir until melted. Add vanilla.
Chill mixture for at least 2 hours or until you stop doom-scrolling.
Scoop and roll into balls. Dust in cocoa like you care about presentation.
Turkey Sandwich:
Toast bread slices if you're not emotionally fragile today.
Mix Dijon mustard and mayo in a bowl.
Spread the mixture on each slice of bread like you're doing something impressive.
Layer lettuce, turkey, tomato, and cucumber.
Add black pepper. Top with other slice. Slice diagonally for a false sense of gourmet.
Optional: Press sandwich for extra smugness.
Espresso Truffles:
In a small saucepan, heat cream and butter until hot—not boiling.
Remove from heat. Stir in espresso powder.
Add chocolate. Stir until melted. Add vanilla.
Chill mixture for at least 2 hours or until you stop doom-scrolling.
Scoop and roll into balls. Dust in cocoa like you care about presentation.